It was all about Colton Wednesday night on reality TV.
One Colton got to close “American Idol” on Billy Joel night with the most recognizable song, “Piano Man.”
The other Colton, a kind of scourge on “Survivor” all season got hit with a heavy karma and was carted off the island before anyone had a chance to vote him off.
He was just about the most awful on prime time TV, save for the primary debates.
A Log Cabin Republican, he refused to do work around camp, called people names and hissed about his hatred, told one African-American he didn’t grow up around anybody like him except his maids; and lately turned his hatred toward an Asian woman who didn’t seem to have hurt anyone, but was hated by many from the moment she started the game.
Christina took the catcalls and taunts, didn’t retaliate, and in the end was the one member of the tribe who came to the aid of Colton when his pain turned its worst.
Colton just thought she was currying favor, but took the care nevertheless.
Eventually he wept – not at the kindness of those who he had wronged, but that he was being forced out of the game by acute appendicitis. He and Elise were like a pair of witches cackling over their domain, but he wouldn’t hand over his hidden immunity idol to her. It would be useless to him of course: Did he think he’d be immune from appendicitis now? But he wanted to keep it as a souvenir. So he screwed his ally out of reflex.
What a wonderful thing that he’s gone though. He was the worst villain in “Survivor” history I’d say, worse than Russell, because his main fuel was euqal parts hatred and privilege. What was confounding was how everybody followed his lead – on both tribes – and were afraid to cross him at all, even when he insisted on what is now considered the dumbest move in the game – giving up tribe immunity to vote someone out, saving the losing team a trip to tribal council.
“Survivor,” with host Jeff Probst as producer, seems to fly by the seat of its pants each season. They mixed up the male and female tribes because it seemed the women would never win, but when they got into their randomly chosen mixed team, one was even more lopsided in strength than the other.
Now with Colton’s exit by helicopter, everybody went to tribal council and there was a sudden merge. Now it’s everybody for themselves and they’re back where they started – evenly divided between men and women.