It could have been any number of things that suddenly turned things dark at press tour Thursday.
The sheer oddball of cable offerings, the creeping effects of two weeks at press tour, or maybe the righteousness of the Amish and Mennonite women that made me suddenly speak truth to power even as my voice was also being lost to long nights, cigars from previous TCA parties, yelling and alcohol.
But all of a sudden I was no longer taking the cheery tones of farflung cable networks flaunting new true crime recreation shows with winks and smiles and arched eyebrows.
And instead of yelling at the TV (or switching channels), I had the TV executives right there before me.
Therefore, to begin a panel for something on the Investigation Discovery network called “Deadly Affairs,” hosted by Susan Lucci, I took to the microphone and noted: “You seem especially giddy about these stories of death. Can you explain?”
It was Henry Schleiff, the president and general manager, who answered.
“No pun intended,” he said. “It’s the execution.”
Groans from the audience. And then he elaborated.
“Come on. I think, actually, if you think about it, the part that is arguably the most controversial, the crime, if you will, is something that you very rarely see, taking a page out of “Jaws,” if you will, or pure drama. We see the relationship. We see the relationships gone wrong. We see the fact situation leading up to the crime. We actually see the consequences of the crime. I don’t want to say that we’re Pollyannish, but this is real life. All of our stories are fact based. We don’t create the stories. We may choose, in recreations, slightly more attractive people on occasion than the participants. But these are all fact based. The truth is that truth is stranger than fiction.”
But they are not having fun with it?
“Not only are we having fun with it,” Schleiff says, “but I think the numbers show the audience is having fun with it.”
Not sure if the relatives of the victims will think these exploitive, eyebrow-arching recreations, done with the film quality and acting associated with soft core porn, would agree that “fun” is the right tone to take.
Frankly, the issue cast a pall over an event they meant to be breezy and “fun” in the way that police briefings on murder are never fun. So Susan Lucci, the daytime soap star who hosts “Deadly Affairs” addressed it later herself:
“Nobody is giddy over murder,” Lucci said. “But that was the fine line to walk because there is a great deal of wit in the characters’ dialogue when it’s appropriate. And the wit has to do with the relationships that between men and women, between the male and the female, which is endlessly fascinating.
“But when it comes time to talking about the actual crime and the punishment,” she went on, “we show respect to the victims and so on. So the storytelling is organic to whatever place in the storytelling we’re showing. The clip is clearly meant to be entertaining, and the show is entertaining, and that’s what you just happened to see that part.”
(And we happened to have seen it, I figured to myself, that was the clip they chose to show us).
Things didn’t get any better in the very next panel, when Animal Planet presented their cast from “Finding Bigfoot,” an apparent hit for the network once dedicated to puppies and kittens but now with shows like “Hillbilly Handfishin,’” and the upcoming “Eel of Fortune.”
I asked about the focus on Bigfoot. Had they run out of real animals to cover?
I had sort of asked network chief Marjorie Kaplan a similar question when doing a story about the rise of “Hillbilly Handfishin’” and other shows showing a Southern sensibility often described on-air as redneck. Would they start showing hunting shows as well since those also involve animals.
Her answer Thursday was similar:
“Animal Planet has many shows about animals that may be more familiar to you,” she said, not too condescendingly. “The reinvention of the brand has been about exploring the relationship between human beings and this kind of rich planet on which we live. ‘Finding Bigfoot’ is a show that is an exploration of the secret corners of the planet. We think that’s very compelling to people.”
Animal Planet had gotten some criticism for its previous airing of a special on mermaids tailored to look like a documentary but made of whole cloth hokum.
On the contrary, Kaplan said, “the fact that ‘Mermaids’ was such an extraordinarily highly rated docudrama on our air is clear that the audience loved it.”
When asked by another critic, she didn’t think it undercut their brand, “or I wouldn’t put it on. I think it enriches the experience of Animal Planet for the audience. I think the audience has voted with their remotes.”
At this point, the panel had to take issue as well with the question as well.
“You can’t equate Bigfoot with mermaids,” said the hulking, sleeveless man in in a trucker’s cap identified as Bobo.
“You’re not familiar with the subject matter and you’re ignorant of the facts.”
The Bigfoot investigative team may have found examples of Bigfoot descriptions in native tribes going back hundreds of years and logged hundreds of eye witness accounts. But so far: No undisputed footage, no evidence and no bones.
Well, said investigator Cliff Barackman, ” the first chimpanzee fossils were discovered in 2006, and, obviously, chimpanzees are real, you know.”
Oh, we know. There’s one starring in an NBC comedy this year and who appeared at a network party not far from Sarah Palin.