Nature has already destroyed Seaside Heights and now “Jersey Shore” (MTV, 10 p.m.) is being cast off after six seasons. What once seemed fun because they were so weird and sort of have their own language long since lapsed into self-parody. And it’s kind of sad the biggest ting that guys marching into middle-age (The Situation is 31; Pauly D is 32) find their beachside partying still so central to their lives. Snooki is making her bid to maturity through motherhood but maybe that’s not the most thoughtful.
My theory is that Carly Rose Soneclar is a shoe-in to win “The X-Factor” (Fox, 8 p.m.) if only to negate the low point of last season: Destroying the youngest finalist on stage through bad judging. It helps that the 13 year old has a surprisingly strong voice. Country singer Tate Stevens has been getting the most votes several weeks, though, and the one remaining group, Fifth Harmony, has been gaining fans in recent weeks. Lots of performances and time-filling is the order of the day until 9:57 p.m. when someone will finally be crowned. One Direction, the British group meant to prove that “X Factor” winners can be successful, returns to perform, as will Pitbull. And it will be the last show for judge L.A. Reid, who said he is leaving the show after this season.
In a season when we’re haunted by the image of a monkey running around at a Toronto Ikea store in a custom-made sheepskin coat (and still remember the sitcom monkey on “Animal Practice” as well as the one who ripped off a face in Connecticut) Jams Marsh’s film ‘Project Nim” (HBO, 9 p.m.) is especially compelling. Th documentary about a chimpanzee who was plucked out of his mother’s arms to be raised as a person, intensely studied and was taught sign language. And just as the interspecies communication was breaking through, the experiment was stopped because he was getting too big and unpredictable (he bet the cheek of a staff member, for one). Sent for the first time to a cage to spend time with other chimps was also a first. Soon we all realize he’ll never make it to Ikea.
Carolers are tackled by Secret Service, for one thing. “A White House Christmas: First Families Remember” (NBC, 8) recalls how the holiday was spent in the nation’s most visited home by the women who lived there including Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barbara Bush and Rosalynn Carter along with their children Barbara Bush, Jenna Bush Hager, Chelsea Clinton, Amy Carter, and some who represent past administrations, Susan Ford Bales, Tricia Nixon Cox, Julie Nixon Eisenhower, Lynda Johnson Robb and Luci Baines Johnson.
Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland hosts the “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC, 9 p.m.), a two hour holiday special featuring Dierks Bentley, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, John Legend, Scotty McCreery, Colbie Caillat, Katherine Jenkins, Martina McBride, the Band Perry and Keith Urban.
The lesser known “Peanuts” holiday special, “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown” (ABC, 8 p.m.) includes such latter day characters as ReRun and Snoopy’s brother Spike.
In holiday movies, it’s fun to see the cast reunite in the Old Navy ads, but the original “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (ABC Family, 9 p.m.) is pretty good on its own. TIm Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (Disney, 8 p.m.) spans Halloween and Christmas. Do you suppose there’s anybody awaiting the annual replay of “Christmas with the Kranks” (FX, 8 p.m.)?
Christmas in New York is the backdrop for the movies on Turner Classic Movies tonight, including “Holiday Affair” (8 p.m.), “The Lemon Drop Kid” (9:30 p.m.), “Bachelor Mother” (11:15 p.m.), “Never Say Goodbye” (12:45 a.m.), “Tenth Avenue Angel” (2:45 a.m.) and “Diner” (4:15 a.m.).
Last chance to scare people with “2012 The End is Now” (History, 9 p.m.). After tomorrow, it will be obsolete one way or another.
“Burn Notice” (USA, 9 p.m.) has a two hour episode to end its sixth season. “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and “The League” (FX, 10:30 p.m.) also reach their season finales.
Gretchen Mol of “Boardwalk Empire” helps judge a 1920s-style fashion design competition on “Project Runway All Stars” (Lifetime, 9 p.m.). Then “Project Runway Spotlight: Marchesa” (Lifetime, 10 p.m.) examines that celebrated fashion house.
The Poinsietta Bowl pits BYU vs. San Diego State University (ESPN, 8 p.m.).
In NBA action, it’s Oklahoma City at Minnesota (TNT, 7 p.m.) and Miami at Dallas (TNT, 9:30 p.m.). In men’s college hoops, it’s Elon at Duke (ESPNU, 7 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Samuel L. Jackson, Cassadee Pope, Katie Brown. The View: Naomi Watts, Maria Belon. The Talk: Jerry Springer, Lidia Bastianich, Ereka Vetrini. Ellen DeGeneres: Justin Bieber, Hugh Jackman.
Late Talk
David Letterman: Katie Holmes, Jon Bon Jovi. Jay Leno: Katherine Heigl, Marjorie Johnson, Johnny Mathis. Jimmy Kimmel: Jessica Lange, Adam Pally, Game featuring Tyga (rerun). Jimmy Fallon: Billy Crystal, Tyson Chandler, Cee-Lo Green. Craig Ferguson: Quentin Tarantino. Carson Daly: Ed Burns, the Features. Tavis Smiley: Damian Lewis, John Slattery. Jon Stewart: Cory Booker (rerun). Stephen Colbert: Mandy Patinkin, Michael Stipe (rerun). Conan O’Brien: Paul Rudd, Rita Wilson, Ben Gibbard. Chelsea Handler: Judd Apatow, Bobby Lee, Heather McDonald, Ryan Stout.