Bindi Irwin was just a tot when she took over the family business after her dad Steve Irwin died. Now she’s a little older and ready to star in the new TV movie “Return to Nim’s Island” (Hallmark, 8 p.m.).
She’s still cavorting amid the creatures of the land, sea and sky in a paradise with a treehouse and zipline, but she has to fight off the encroaching developers of the paradise island in the sequel of the 2008 film that starred Abigail Breslin and Jodie Foster. The trouble is Bindi isn’t much of an actress, but nor is anybody else here except maybe Matthew Lillard.
The family film is co-produced by Walmart and Proctor & Gamble, it’s intended to be a family film, but there is also a crucial bird defecation scene.
I would think a Ron Swanson salute would be funnier but instead we have “Ron White’s Vegas Salute to the Troops 2013” (CMT, 10 p.m.). Josh BLue, Brian Regan and Kathleen Madigan join in on the salute, which isn’t shot in Afghanistan but in Las Vegas.
In the one hour special, “Wizards Return: Alex vs. Alex” (Dianey, 8 p.m.) Selena Gomez returns from her “Spring Breakers” foray to her old sitcom, “The Wizards of Waverly Place” a year after its end, for an episode that takes the family to Italy, where she meets her evil twin.
Ann Curry reports on women in high places on a new “Rock Center with Brian Williams” (NBC, 10 p.m.), and there’s a report from South by Southwest.
Michelle Rhee, Jared Bernstein, Tom Davis, Rachel Maddow and Tom Colicchio are the scheduled guests on “Real Time with Bill Maher” (HBO, 10 p.m.).
A Greek restaurant in Seattle gets a shake up on “Kitchen Nightmares” (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Poison lead singer Bret Michaels may be on “Celebrity Apprentice,” but Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neill is on “Ghost Adventures” (Travel, 9 p.m.).
It may seem fitting to catch “Spartacus: War of the Damned” (Starz, 9 p.m.) on the Ides of March, on a season when Julius Caesar has been featured. But the season finale of “Banshee” (Cinemax, 10 p.m.) may be more bloody.
Bill Bellamy and Anthony Anderson host “Centric’s Comedy All-Stars” (BET, 8 p.m.) in which George Wallace receives a lifetime achievement award. Not getting an award: “Soul Plane” (BET, 10 p.m.).
The month-long Friday night salute to Roberto Rossellini continues on Turner Classic Movies with “Stromboli” (8 p.m.), “Europa ’51” (10 p.m.), “Journey to Italy” (TCM, midnight) and “Fear” (1:45 a.m.).
Later comes “The Awful Dr. Orlof” (TCM, 3:15 p.m.) an early example of a splatter film from Spanish filmmaker Jess Franco.
Crazy men’s conference basketball hoops action today and all weekend, of course. In the ACC quarterfinals, it’s Miami vs. Boston College (ESPN2, noon), Virginia vs. North Carolina State (ESPN2, 2 p.m.), Duke vs. Maryland (ESPN2, 7 p.m.) and North Carolina vs. Florida State (ESPN2, 9 p.m.).
In the Big East semifinals it’s Georgetown vs. Syracuse (ESPN, 7 p.m.) and Louisville vs. Notre Dame (ESPN9 p.m.).
In the Big Ten quarterfinals, it’s Indiana vs. Illinois (ESPN, noon) and Wisconsin vs. Michigan (ESPN, 2 p.m.). In the SEC quarterfinals, it’s Florida vs. LSU (ESPNU, 1 p.m.) and Alabmaa vs. Tennessee (ESPNU, 3 p.m.). In the Big 12 semifinals, it’s Iowa State vs. Kansas (ESPNU, 7:30 p.m.) and Kansas State vs. Oklahoma State (ESPNU, 10 p.m.). In the Mountain West semifinals, it’s New Mexico vs. San Diego State (CBS Sports, 9 p.m.) and UNLV vs. Colorado State (CBS Sports, 11:30 p.m.).
In Conference USA men’s tournament, it’s it’s USM vs. UTEP (CBS Sports, 4 p.m.) and Memphis vs. Tulsa (CBS Sports, 6:30 p.m.); in the Conference USA women’s tournament, it’s UCF vs. UTEP (CBS SPorts, 11 a.m.) and Tulane vs. East Carolina (CBS Sports, 1:30 p.m.).
In a second round elimination game at the World Baseball Classic, it’s Puerto Rico vs. United States (MLB, 7 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Ryan Reynolds, James Purefoy. The View: Andy Dick, Keri Glassman, Bobby Knight, Bill Engvall. The Talk: Steve Carell, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Peggy Kotsopoulos, Pat Harvey. Ellen DeGeneres: Joel McHale, Michael Weatherly.
Late Talk
David Letterman: Seth Meyers, Demetri Martin, Dropkick Murphys. Jay Leno: Craig Ferguson, Vera Farmiga, Harper Simon. Jimmy Kimmel: Kobe Bryant, Dominic Monaghan, Rival Sons (rerun). Jimmy Fallon: Justin Timberlake, Hayden Panettiere. Craig Ferguson: Megan Mullally. Carson Daly: Lisa Ling, Sam Sheridan, Blitzen Trapper (rerun). Tavis Smiley: Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman. Chelsea Handler: Luke Bryan, Jeff Wild, Loni Love, Julian McCullough (rerun).