After just three weeks of blind auditions, with each of the four judges amassing teams of a dozen acts each, now comes the exhausting process for “The Voice” of slicing down those 48 in half through battle rounds.
But even that didn’t work on the first night of the battles, with half of the losers in the battle rounds picked up through saves by other judges.
Each judge can pick up two and Shakira already filled her quota in one episode. She will have to sit on her hands for the rest of her process – her buzzing days are over. Also, Blake Shelton stole a singer as well.
At least the judges got to put on new outfits for the first time this season (hope you like them; they’ll probably continue through the battle rounds at least).
The other notable development was the unveiling of each judge’s celebrity assistant mentor. In a move that recalled Christina Aguilera rather jarringly working with Billie Joe Armstrong last weekend, Shakira said hello to Joel Madden, frontman of Good Charlotte, whose talent judging skills despite his colorful punk attire, are not untruly unknown: He’s a judge on the Australian version of “The Voice.”
Adam Levine is aligned with country artist Hillary Scott of the trio Lady Antebellum (whose stock advice is for singers to leave it all out on the floor, apparently because the janitor can clean it up later).
Shelton sits with Sheryl Crow, the only one shown to offer useful advice to contestants; and Usher chose Pharrell Williams, who looks a bit like his first cousin. (His advice can be misleading, as when he tells one shy singer to “Get lost!” – that is to say, lost in the song I believe).
The battle rounds are contrived and overly theatrical, and no matter how many times Levine says the songs on which two team members sing should be a duet, they actually turn into little punchouts within the confines of the show’s stylized boxing ring.
Here’s how the first card went down Monday:
- The battle: Amber Carrington vs. Sasha Allen
- Team: Levine. The styles: country vs. R&B.
- Hard luck qualifier: Amber lost her mom to cancer, Sasha gave up her classical training to be a mom.
- The song: “Try” by Pink.
- The result: More experienced singer Sasha seen as shoe-in, but younger Amber holds her own. Winner: Amber. Loser: Sasha, who both Usher and Shakira clamor to save; she chooses her.
- The battle: Garrett Gardner, vs. J’Sun.
- Team: Shakiera.
- The styles: rock vs. soul.
- Hard luck qualifier: Garrett’s dad died; J’Sun’s grandmother did too.
- The song: “How You Like Me Now?” by The Heavy, a song that may have become more widely known for its use in a commercial.
- The result: Garrett wins; nobody saves J’Sun, who may now have to change his name back to Jason after all.
- The battle: Holly Tucker vs. Michelle Raitzin.
- Team: Shelton.
- The styles: country vs. pop/rock.
- Hard luck qualifier: Holly had to quit her marching band to participate; Taylor’s singing past includes nine albums as part of Kidz Bop.
- The song: “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood.
- The result: Holly declared winner; no steals for Michelle, who goes home.
- The battle: Jess Kellner vs. Taylor Beckham.
- Team: Usher.
- The styles: belting rock vs. ethereal pop.
- Hard luck qualifier: Jess’ mom was an alcoholic; Taylor gave up dreams of being an Olympic gymnast.
- The song: “You Know I’m No Good,” by Amy Winehouse.
- The result: Jess wins for having a strong voice; Shelton has a penchant for ethereal girls, saves Taylor from elimination.
- The battle: Christian Porter vs. The Swon Brothers.
- Team: Shelton.
- The styles: Anything goes solo act vs. harmonizing brothers.
- Hard luck qualifier: Christian works in a bar, brothers survived being in traveling family band.
- The song: Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down.”
- The result: The Swons played another Petty song to gain entry to Blake’s team; they won again. The losing Porter is eliminated.
- The battle: Judith Hill vs. Karina Iglesias. Team: Levine.
- The styles: melodic r&B vs. harder-edged gospel approach.
- Hard luck qualifier: Judith lost job as duet singer with Michael Jackson when he died; Karina has put a pause on her singing career as she teaches music to kids.
- The song: James Brown’s “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World,”
- The result: The greatest battle round in the history of “The Voice?” I wouldn’t say so. Winner: Judith Hill. Loser Karina is picked up Shakira.
Judges gave a standing ovation to the performance, and some kept hyping that it was the best duet in the show’s history. Maybe, but I doubt it. It just seemed a solid, but not superlative rendition (though there’s some ladies on American Idol who can deliver that).