On the theory that there are not enough awful women on reality TV yet, here comes “Pretty Wicked Moms” (Lifetime 10 p.m.), a gaggle of bad mothers who give their kids to nannies so they can get together and gossip, fight and prepare for raucous reunion shows.
What is there about Atlanta that produces such dim, overly made up, competitive horrors? The idea, someone says early on, is that “mean girls grow up to be mean moms.” Great.
The effect will likely make the “Dance Moms” (Lifetime, 8 p.m.) seem a little more tolerable in their two-hour season premiere. But probably only just a little.
“America’s Got Talent” (NBC, 9 p.m.) is written as if a declarative statement. I’d put it as a question: America’s Got Talent?
There’s little evidence of it. After seven seasons there’s barely a single new talent discovered whose name you’d remember. And the show can barely staff its judging table with talent from America. This year’s roster has a Brit, a German and two Howards.
When it comes to entertainment, are we to trust the taste of Heidi Klum, Scary Spice, Howard Stern and Howie Mandel? Look for them to go crazy over the most minor act from an elementary school talent show. Over a two hour period. And Nick Cannon explaining it all to you like you’re in kindergarten.
The level of skills can be expected to be uniformly higher in the auditions of “So You Think You Can Dance” (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Two, meanwhile, get kicked off on “The Voice” (NBC, 8 p.m.). Hope at least one of them is from Blake Shelton’s team.
Also seeking elimination: “Extreme Weight Loss” (ABC, 8 p.m.).
Tyler Perry’s new drama “The Haves and Have Nots” (OWN, 9 p.m.) had the biggest premiere in the history of Oprah’s channel last week. The new episode is sandwiched by the premiere repeat at 8 and 10.
“Pretty Little Girls” (ABC Family, 8 p.m.) reviews the first three seasons before the fourth one starts next week.
What’s missing so far this summer? An adaptation of a Japanese game show. That happens on the new “Exit” (Syfy, 10 p.m.), based on the Japanese “Dero!” in which players answer puzzles and try to break out of a series of rooms to win prize money.
“Kathy Griffin: Calm Down Gurrl” (Bravo, 10:30 p.m.) is the latest comedy special from the comic. She could probably get all of her material from her lead in: “Don’t Be Tardy..” (Bravo, 10 p.m.).
Not sure whether you can attract lobster with Meat Loaf. But he shows up in the pre-show “Deadliest Catch: The Bait” (Discovery, 8 p.m.) before a new episode of “Deadliest Catch” (Discovery, 9 p.m.).
The Kentucky-based “Backyard Oil” (Discovery, 10 and 10:30 p.m.) is billed as “a real life ‘Beverly Hillbillies.'” But come on, that was in Tennessee.
A whole new roster of shows premiere on investigation Discovery: “Nightmare Next Door” (Investigation Discovery, 8 p.m.), “Deadly Devotion” (Investigation Discovery, 9 p.m.) and “Swamp Murders” (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.).
Frost warning: The new series “Family S.O.S. with Jo Frost” (TLC, 7:30 and 9 p.m.) actually runs opposite old episodes of her “Supernanny” (Style, 8, 9 and 10 p.m.).
Robert Osborne’s picks tonight on Turner Classic Movies include “The Rains Came” (8 p.m.), “Johnny Eager” (10 p.m.), “That’s Entertainment! III” (midnight), “The Mask of Demitrios” (2:15 a.m.) and “Background to Danger” (4 a.m.).
I don’t quite remember the 1997 “National Lampoon Vegas Vacation” (AMC, 8 p.m.), which came 14 years after the original “National Lampoon’s Vacation” (AMC, 10 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Neil Patrick Harris, Rose Byrne, Barenaked Ladies. The View: Sofia Vergara, cast of “Pippin,” Jenny McCarthy. The Talk: Megan Mullally, Melissa D’Arabian, Kathy Orr. Ellen DeGeneres: Amy Adams, Olivia Munn. Wendy Williams: Trisha Yearwood.
Late Talk
David Letterman: Nathan Fillion, Joan Rivers, John Oliver, Local Natives. Jay Leno: Owen Wilson, Wayde King & Brett Raymer, LeAnn Rimes. Jimmy Kimmel: Amy Adams, Dave Franco, Lady Antebellum. Jimmy Fallon: Ethan Hawke, Rose Byrne, Bruce Jenner, Savages, Quinn Sullivan. Craig Ferguson: Bill Maher, Cat Cora. Carson Daly: Zack Snyder, Grimes. Tavis Smiley: Elisabeth Moss. Jon Stewart: Brian Williams. Stephen Colbert: Alex Gibney. Conan O’Brien: Nick Offerman, Lena Headey, Divine Fits. Chelsea Handler: Anne Heche, Chris Franjola, Claire Titelman, Brad Wollack.