Some day, I worry that young Alana Thompson will someday get older and never quite be as freely funny as she is now. Until then, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (TLC, 9 p.m.) seems to be going strong into its second season that starts tonight.
Strong enough that it doesn’t need a gimmick like “scratch and sniff” to accompany the more unsavory turns of the show (such as, say “Cup-a-Fart”). The season premiere features a buttered-down kitchen turned slip-n-slide and a Silly String fight. And some likely sass from Honey Boo Boo who, I’m sad to say, turns 8 next month.
Don Draper has never been seen actually playing any sport on “Mad Men” but “Empty the Bottle.” Nonetheless, Jon Hamm hosts The 2013 ESPYs (ESPN, 9 p.m.), the unnecessary but occasionally entertaining sports achievement award show from Los Angeles marking its 21st year. Organizers take advantage of the All Star break to get some baseball players present.
Because locals screwed up her own wedding plans, former D.C. resident Sandy Malone began her own wedding planning business on Puerto Rico’s Vieques Island. The new series “Wedding Island” (TLC, 10 p.m.) follows the work of the transplant and her husband, a former member of a SWAT team in D.C.
Marking today’s 17th anniversary of the tragedy, a documentary reexamines “TWA Flight 800” (Epix, 8 p.m.) that exploded just off Long Island, killing 230, making the case that it was a missile attack.
It seems like the new series “Celebrity Motor Homes” (GAC, 9 p.m.) would be necessarily short-lived. How many stars have and are proud of their own RVs? But country stars like Kellie Piekler and the Zac Brown Band use them for transpiration. And Stars like WIll Smith and Brad Pitt have them as temporary dressing rooms at movie sets.
“Futurama” (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) parodies ’80s cartoons.
The cut down in Vegas continues on “America’s Got Talent” (NBC, 9 p.m.).
If you’re one of those people who never wanted to see sausage being made, you won’t like the task for the nine remaining contestants on “MasterChef” (Fox, 9 p.m.).
Aaryn and Kaitlin are up for elimination on “Big Brother” (NBC, 8 p.m.), now the MVP has to be identified and make her own choice. Then they all fight for their lives in a power of veto competition.
“Camp” (NBC, 10 p.m.), I think we can conclude, is pretty lousy, even for summer.
Ryan is naturally resistant to co-listing a property on “Million Dollar Listing New York” (Bravo, 9 p.m.).
The people doing “Airplane Repo” (Discovery, 10 p.m.) have to fight mechanics and security to do their job as well.
A Missouri spa is investigated on the season finale of “Ghost Hunters” (Syfy, 9 p.m.).
Wyclef Jean, Styles P and Prodigy are among those to appear in a special edition of “RapFix Live” (MTV, 4 p.m.) to discuss the George Zimmerman verdict in Florida.
Annabeth Gish finds out the secret on her property as an international team continues to investigate the grisly body found on “The Bridge” (FX, 10 p.m.). It’s only the second episode, get in on this thing.
Now that Liz Cheney has announced her plans to run for Senate, be reminded of how she was raised in “The World According to Dick Cheney” (Showtime, 9 p.m.).
Tony Randall is featured on Turner Classic Movies tonight with “7 Faces of Dr. Lao” (8 p.m.), “Our Man in Marrakesh” (10 p.m.), “The Mating Game” (11:45 p.m.), “Boys’ Night Out” (1:30 a.m.) and “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” (3:30 a.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Josh Duhamel, Ross Lynch, Sara Bareilles. The View: Ross Lynch, Maia Mitchell, Grace Phipps, Garrett Clayton. The Talk: Judy Reyes, Ana Ortiz, Dania Ramirez, Roselyn Sanchez, Edy Ganem, Fabio Viviani, Carnie Wilson. Ellen DeGeneres: Melissa McCarthy, Jacki Weaver (rerun). Wendy Williams: June Shannon, Aaron Tveit.
Late Talk
David Letterman: Brian Williams, Court Yard Hounds. Jay Leno: Jane Lynch, Charlie Hunnam, Serena Ryder. Jimmy Kimmel: Dwyane Wade, Tony Goldwyn, the Neighbourhood (rerun). Jimmy Fallon: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Colin Quinn, Gogol Bordello. Craig Ferguson: Anthony Hopkins, Jes Macallan. Carson Daly: Greta Gerwig, Molly Crabapple, Pierce the Veil (rerun). Tavis Smiley: Amy Grant. John Oliver: Reza Aslan. Stephen Colbert: Jerry Seinfeld. Conan O’Brien: Noah Wyle, Ben Schwartz, Pretty Lights with Talib Kweli. Chelsea Handler: Jason Biggs, John Caparulo, Sarah Colonna, Ben Gleib.