God-fearing country music fans (formerly served by this network) may want to know that the first word in the title of new “FNA USA” (CMT, 10 p.m.) stands for “F’in’ Awesome,” representing the first time the F word has been even suggested in a TV title.
Meant to be a salute to “the most kick-ass, beer-guzzling, Olympic-medal winning, dictator-toppling, freedom-loving super power in history,” it’s actually just a late-to-the-game compilation of stupid human activity gone viral, meaning CMT must have finally broke down and bought a computer and signed up to AOL.
Building on the popularity of its drunk ‘n’ dumb “Party Down South,” the new series is described as a ” countdown of 11 reasons why America rules– includes epic theme parks, sex-tape-watching seniors [and] table-smashing drinking games…” It other words, it will make you grieve for our country unless you can find some irony in their presentation (and I’m not so sure they quite have the ability to go there).
A winner is named on the first season’s finale of “Project Runway: Under the Gunn” (Lifetime, 9 p.m.) with Heidi Klum and Neil Patrick Harris as guest judges.
“Suits” (USA, 9 p.m.) ends season three with a confrontation with a U.S. attorney.
I wonder if they’ll edit the vomit sequence in the South by Southwest performance “Lady Gaga at the Doritos Boldstage” (Fuse, 10 p.m.).Toni and Fred lead the dance squad of the Portland Trail blazers on a new “Portlandia” (FC, 10 p.m.).
A flu outbreak further sets back getting performers for the big Unity Concert on “Parks and Recreation” (NBC, 8:30 p.m.), an event they’re stretching out as much as “How I Met Your Mother” stretched out Barney’s wedding.
In what looks to be a complicated product placement deal, Subway wants to buy the rights of Greendale Community Colege on “Community” (NBC, 8 p.m.).
Sheldon gives up on string theory on “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS, 8 p.m.).
Robin Williams is reunited with Pan Dawber on “The Crazy Ones” (CBS, 9:30 p.m.); Mila Kunis is reunited with Ashton Kutcher on “Two and a Half Men” (CBS, 9 p.m.).
“Review” (Comedy Central,10 p.m.) reviews road rage.
Why is “Shark Tank” (ABC, 8 p.m.) now on Thursdays? Perhaps it’s ABC’s version of “The Voice” and they want to spread its relative ratings luck around.
Cristina is nominated for an award on “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC, 9 p.m.) (hint: not an Emmy).
A gang war might break out on “Chicagoland” (CNN,10 p.m.), unless that Malaysian Airliner is found.
Having used the one judges’ save, the low vote getter on “American Idol” (Fox, 9 p.m.), will actually be eliminated.
There’s upsetting news for both Amber and Kristina on “Parenthood” (NBC, 10 p.m.).
My colleague Matt Roush of TV Guide is one of the viewers allowed to program Turner Classic Movies for its 20th anniversary. His choice: “The Bad and the Beautiful” (12:15 a.m.). Other choices tonight, “Young at Heart” (8 p.m.), “A Man Called Adam” (10:15 p.m.), “The Umbrellas of Cherbourg” (2:30 a.m.) and “Lola” (4:15 a.m.).
Two 2002 films from British literature: “The Importance of Being Earnest” (Flix, 8 p.m.) and “Nicholas Nickelby” (Flix, 9:35 p.m.).
NBA action includes San Antonio at Dallas (TNT, 8 p.m.) and Denver at Golden State (TNT, 10:30 p.m.). Hockey includes St. Louis at Minnesota (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.).
Baseball includes Oakland at Minnesota (MLB, 1:10 p.m.), Boston at Yankees (MLB, 7:05 p.m.) and Milwaukee at Philadelphia (MLB, 7:05 p.m.).
In golf ,the first round begins in The Masters (ESPN, 3 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Kevin Costner, Tracy Morgan. The View: Denis Leary, LaTanya Richardson Jackson, Patrick & Gina Neely, Greg Anthony. The Talk: Patrick Duffy, Pam Dawber, Cat Cora. Ellen DeGeneres: Zooey Deschanel, Chadwick Boseman, Pharrell Williams. Wendy Williams: Mekhi Phifer (rerun).
Late Talk
David Letterman: Zach Braff, Sgt. Brendan Marrocco, Dr. Andrew Lee (rerun). Jimmy Fallon: Kevin Costner, Danica McKellar, Alan Cumming and the cast of “Cabaret,” Philip Bailey. Jimmy Kimmel: Seth MacFarlane, Paul Bettany, Sam Smith. Seth Meyers: Edie Falco, Marlon Wayans, Nikki Glaser. Craig Ferguson: Morgan Freeman, Adam Ray. Carson Daly: Brian Unger, Zane Lamprey, the Crystal Method, Milagres. Tavis Smiley: Dr. Katherine Newman, Hafez Nazeri. Jon Stewart: Jennifer Garner. Stephen Colbert: Sting, Trudie Styler. Arsenio Hall: Anthony Mackie, Shane West, SoMo. Conan O’Brien: Ice Cube, Wayne Gretzky, Chris Fairbanks (rerun). Chelsea Handler: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jo Koy, Claire Titelman, Ryan Stout. Pete Holmes: Robert Rodriguez, Brent Sullivan.