I guess if John Malkovich is going to play Blackbeard, it’s going to be on his terms. That means white whiskers not black and a goatee more than a beard. As island king in the adaptation “Crossbones” (NBC, 10 p.m.) he’s more like Kurtz in “Heart of Darkness” than an early 18th century pirate. He scarcely steps on a boat.
And of course, he’s seen only fleetingly in the first episode of the drama, but when he is, he uses that intense, evenly spoken, wide-eyed expository style that makes him seem rather fearsome. The story is more about a kind of 1720s James Bond who sneaks on board to save the navigational chronometer, which looks like a fancy clock, and kill the pirate. RIchard Coyle plays Tom Lowe, whose cover is as surgeon, which apparently anybody could do back then with a good hacksaw.
There’s something generic and an air of international production values at play, though the setting is refreshingly exotic and the action so far not terrible.
I was charmed by the first six episodes of “Derek” (Netflix), the comedy from Ricky Gervais, and expect to be so from the six in the second season, dropping today in the streaming service. Whole seasons never sent by so quickly.
Wrestler Eric Young goes on extreme adventures on the new “No Limits” (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.), another apparently animal-free show on the network.
The makers of “Undercover Boss” take another step in big money deception, when millionaires hide their riches as they go dating commoners on the new “Mystery Millionaire” (WE, 10 p.m.).
It joins the other, slightly desperate Friday night romantic reality shows of “Say Yes to the Dress: The Big Day” (TLC, 9 p.m.) and “I Found the Gown” (TLC, 10 p.m.).
Once married, there is no guarantee, as seen in the new “Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars” (We, 9 p.m.) in which personalities we should have forgotten about return with their poor spouses and problems. Among them Jenni “JWoww” Farley and Roger Matthews of “Jersey Shore,” Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” Traci Braxton and Kevin Surratt of “Braxton Family Values” and the explosive Tanisha Thomas and Clive Muir of “Bad Girls Club.” Tellingly, it also includes the often cited perfect couple from the first “Bachelorette,” Trista and Ryan Sutter.
“Dateline” (NBC, 8 p.m.) looks at the death of a woman after she goes with her husband to a cabin retreat in Utah.
Seems like the wrong season to start the new series “Ice Holes” (National Geographic Channel, 10 p.m.), a new series about ice fishing fans in New Hampshire competing for fish and money.
Assuming nothing newsworthy would happen this week, tonight’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” (HBO, 10 p.m.) is a repeat of last week’s, with Sarah Silverman, David Frum, Jose Antonio Vargas, Michael Smerconish and Anna Deavere Smith.
Turner Classic Movies winds up its Friday night salute to Australian film with “Newsfront” (8 p.m.), “Sunday Too Far Away” (10 p.m.), “The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith” (11:45 p.m.), “The Devil’s Playground” (2 a.m.) and “Lonely Hearts” (4 a.m.).
It’s Indiana at Miami (ESPN, 8:30 p.m.) in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. In the NHL Western Conference Finals, it’s Chicago at Los Angeles (NBC Sports, 9 p.m.).
Baseball includes San Francisco at St. Louis (MLB, 8:15 p.m.).
Third round action in the French Open (ESPN2, 5 am.; Tennis Channel, 10 a.m.) continues.
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: President Barack Obama, Marc Forgione. The View: Lizzie Velasquez, Nicolle Wallace (rerun). The Talk: Joe Manganiello, Chi McBride (rerun). Ellen DeGeneres: Wanda Sykes, Matt Bomer, Beberly Devers & Kevin Tellez. Wendy Williams: Patricia Heaton, Jerry Springer (rerun).
Late Talk
David Letterman: Shailene Woodley, Peyton Manning (rerun). Jimmy Fallon: Kevin Bacon, Jeff Musial, Ty Dolla $ign, Anne Wilson (rerun). Jimmy Kimmel: Adam Sandler, Elle Fanning, Lykke Li (rerun). Seth Meyers: Maya Rudolph, Lake Bell, Eddie Izzard (rerun). Craig Ferguson: William Shatner, Jessica S. Clair. Carson Daly: Tim Heidecker & Davin Wood, Washed Out, Aatsinki (rerun). Tavis Smiley: Allison Janney. Arsenio Hall: Patricia Heaton, Jerry Springer (rerun). Chelsea Handler: Ian Somerhalder, Julian McCullough, Kerri Kenney-Silver, Ian Karmel, Mary McCormack.