Now that your Oscar nomination disappointments have waned let’s look at a couple of awards shows that really don’t matter.
First up, George Lopez hosts the first “World Dog Awards” (The CW, 8 p.m.) which honors famous dogs and cats in viral videos, TV and film. At least they won’t go on and on during acceptance speeches.
The “Critics Choice Movie Awards” (A&E, 9 p.m.) will hand out awards to what films it thinks worthy, live from the Hollywood Palladium. Michael Strhan hosts the event where Kevin Costner, Ron Howard and Jessica Chastain will all be honored. where “Birdman” led nominations too.
Another day, another new network. After TV Guide Network became Pop Wednesday, the former Discovery Fit & Life is now just Discovery Life. Losing the health means things might get risky, as on the new “Outrageous Births: Tales from the Crib” (Discovery Life, 9 p.m.). Other than pairing the word “crib” with “crypt,” it shows scary situations for births, such as one in the middle of Hurricane Sandy.
Later, the even worse named “50 Ways to Kill Your Mother” (Discovery Life, 10 p.m.), daredevil Baz Ashmawy takes his mother, 70, on many of his activities, including skydiving and alligator wrestling.
Auditions on “American Idol” (Fox, 8 p.m.) are back to two hours and are set in New York. Adam Lambert sits in as guest judge.
The new “Breaking Point” (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.) takes “Intervention” a step further, targeting street criminals who are told they could be arrested or go into drug therapy.
“Portlandia” (IFC, 10 p.m.) continues its troubling new style of episode-long stories. Tonight’s has Carrie Brownstein’s Lance meeting his match in his potential new stepfather, Justin Long.
Don’t confuse “Boyhood” with “Parenthood” (NBC, 10 p.m.).
Does Spencer Pratt’s sister deserve love on “The Millionaire Matchmaker” (Bravo, 10 p.m.)?
Cooks on “The Taste” (ABC, 8 p.m.) make bite-sized dishes.
Designers are asked to do a marine inspired look on “Project Runway All Stars” (Lifetime, 9 p.m.).
How many ways can you make bacon? The new “Chopped Canada” (Food Network, 9 p.m.) premieres, hoping to change such culinary stereotypes.
A former foe stirs up trouble between Archer and his ex, Lana on “Archer” (FX, 10 p.m.).
It’s all about train robberies tonight on Turner Classic Movies with the 1979 “The Great Train Robbery” (9 p.m.), “Whispering Smith” (10 p.m.), “Colorado Territory” (11:45 p.m.), “Man of the West” (1:30 a.m.), “Navajo Joe” (3:30 a.m.) and the 112-year old silent short, “The Great Train Robbery” (5:15 a.m.).
College hoops include Cincinnati at Memphis (ESPN, 7 p.m.), Richmond at George Washington (ESPNU, 7 p.m.), Colorado at Arizona (ESPN, 9 p.m.), Nebraska at Wisconsin (ESPN2, 9 p.m.), Belmont at Muray State (ESPNU, 9 p.m.), Utah at Arizona State (Fox Spors 1, 10 p.m.) and Brigam Young at Pacific (ESPNU, 8 p.m.).
In NBA action, it’s Oklahoma City at Houston (TNT, 8 p.m.) and Cleveland at Lakers (TNT, 10:30 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Bradley Cooper, OliviaMunn, Dr. David Perlmutter, Anderson Cooper. The View: Marisa Tomei, Amanda Peet, Billy Eichner, Kelly Osbourne. The Talk: Patrick Stewart, Brooke Anderson, Evette Rios. Ellen DeGeneres: Mariah Carey, Dax Shepard, Sharon Van Etten. Wendy Williams: Christina Milian, Kahlana Barfield. Meredith Vieira: Marion Wayans. Queen Latifah: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, T.I. (rerun).
Late Talk
David Letterman: Larry David, Sleater-Kinney. Jimmy Fallon: Kevin Hart, Jay Baruchel, Meghan Trainor. Jimmy Kimmel: Johnny Depp, Marion Cotillard, Kandace Springs. Seth Meyers: Kristen Stewart, Andrew Rannells, Phoebe Robinson. Late Late Show: Kristen Chenoweth, Eric Christian Olsen, Linda Perry, Julie Chen, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Sheryl Underwood, Aisha Tyler. Carson Daly: J.K. Simmons, Best Coast, Willis Earl Beal (rerun). Tavis Smiley: Patrick Stewart. Jon Stewart: Sienna Miller. Conan O’Brien: Patton Oswalt, Sally Hawkins, Run the Jewels.