One might get the mistaken impression from tonight’s television that this country is all about dancing.
For two hours on prime time, perhaps the weirdest bunch yet begins a new season of “Dancing with the Stars” (ABC, 8 p.m.) with Chaka Khan (pictured left), Gary Busey, Nick Carter, Bindi Irwin, Paula Deen, Triple Crown jockey Victor Espinoza and one of the guys who took down a gunman on a train from Amsterdam to Brussels. Len Goodman is calling it quits after 20 seasons as a judge, leaving Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli and Julianne Hough.
Hough is also involved in the one hour special that follows, “Dance Battle America” (ABC, 10 p.m.), that grew out of some kind of online competition she had with Maria Menounos. Hosted by Alfonso Ribeiro and Jordin Sparks, this one involves individual dance battles from viewers. Let’s all be thankful it’s just a one hour special.
Better dancing is guaranteed on the 12th season finale “So You Think You Can Dance” (Fox, 8 p.m.). The competition is between Gaby Diaz of Miami, Hailee Payne of Utah, Dzajna Vankova of the Czech Republic and Virgil Gadson of Philadelphia.
What about end zone dancing? Monday Night Football begins its season with two games: Philadelphia at Atlanta (ESPN, 6:55 p.m.) and Minnesota at San Francisco (ESPN, 10:15 p.m.).
The seventh season finale of “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC, 8 p.m.) takes a full three hours. So one of the ninja skills will likely be patience.
Magazines aside, the new fall TV season is not here yet, so there’s a fair amount of reruns, though there are new episodes of “Penn & Teller: Fool Us” (The CW, 8 p.m.), “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” (The CW, 9 p.m.) and “Significant Mother” (The CW, 9:30 p.m.).
Daytime is rolling out new shows with Tyra Banks back with a kind of hyped-up self help show on beauty, food, fashion and do it yourself projects called “FabLife” (ABC, 2 p.m.) with co-hosts that include Chrissy Teigen and Joe Zee.
Portland, Ore., is the destination of an episode of “36 Hours” (Travel, 8 p.m.).
Amy goes to a college fair on “Faking It” (MTV, 9:30 p.m.).
“Fashion Police” (E!, 8 p.m.) stake out New York’s Fashion Week.
“Dawson’s Creek” (Pop, noon) is back in reruns, so there’s a four hour marathon about it.
Films directed by Sidney Lumet are showcased on Turner Classic Movies tonight with “Deathtrap” (8 p.m.), “Running on Empty” (10:15 p.m.), “The Verdict” (12:30 a.m.), “Just Tell Me What You Want” (2:45 a.m.) and “Bye Bye Braverman” (4:45 a.m.).
Baseball includes Houston at Texas (MLB, 8 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Neil Patrick Harris, Chris Harrison, Russell Westbrook. The View: Dr. Phil McGraw, Lila Perry, Morris Chestnut. The Talk: Chris Evans. Ellen DeGeneres: Emily Blunt, Ronda Rousey. Wendy Williams: Neil Patrick Harris. Meredith Vieira: Giuliana Rancic, Melissa Rivers, Brad Goreski, Spencer Stone.
Late Talk
Stephen Colbert: Emily Blunt, Justice Stephen Breyer, the Dead Weather. Jimmy Kimmel: Sofia Vergara, David Muir, Kacey Musgraves. Jimmy Fallon: Benicio Del Toro, Jessica Alba, Miguel. Seth Meyers: David Oyelowo, Twenty One Pilots, Abe Laboriel Jr. James Corden: Adam Scott, Wilmer Valderrama, Marian Hill. Carson Daly: Eiza Gonzalez, Shlohmo, Kristen Kish and Kyle Martino. Tavis Smiley: Kamasi Washington. Conan O’Brien: Jim Gaffigan, Chelsea Peretti, Blackberry Smoke.