Two new network series start tonight and it’s tough to tell at first which one is worse.
“Killer Women” (ABC, 10 p.m.) is another one of those absurd sagas about a model-thin beauty who can beat up the biggest thugs who come at her without breaking a nail. Tricia Helfer is always disarming but as a brunette with a Texas accent she may be a little out of her league. The intent throughout is to say wow at her looks and her actions even though the action is often silly and the dialogue a joke.
Josh Holloway of “Lost” fame uses his Sawyer charm in the second recent network show about a part cyborg cop. His character has a computer chip implanted in him to help him as part of some huge government cyber security outfit that is tough to see as the good guy. Except that the bad guys are all so cliched and foreign (from China if they’re not Muslim).
Part of the story of the ironically named “Intelligence” (CBS, 9 p.m.) is that his character has been lost in deep cover and may have joined the terrorists she has been tracking. In the mean time, a model-thin agent is assigned to protect him becuse he’s such a valuable government asset.
Mostly this is another excuse for a post-“CSI” show to wallow in graphics, as we “see” the computer screens he can see and access and he can walk through scenes he imagines in his mind. Get the guy some Google glasses and send the surgeon home. This new “Intelligence” insults ours.
Both network shows are shamed by the fifth season start of “Justified” (FX, 10 p.m.), a U.S. Marshal saga inspired by Elmore Leonard that is full of rich characters and sharp writing — a model of what such a show should be. By now the show is attracting so many actors wanting to guest star, they’re not even credited half the time. The season premiere stretches from Florida to Detroit from the show’s Kentucky base but never strays far from pure entertainment.
“Cougar Town” (TBS, 10 p.m.) is back for its fifth season — its second on cable. And continues to be about women with frozen faces talking incessantly about body parts. Still not funny.
Also back for a second season, the Tyler Perry version of “Upstairs Downstairs,” “The Haves and the Have Nots” (OWN, 9 p.m.).
A new “Frontline” (PBS, 10 p.m., check local listings) follows the government investigation that led to the huge insider trading case against hedge fund giant Steven A. Cohen on a Martin Smith report titled “To Catch a Trader.”
Earlier, an unusual “American Experience” (PBS, 8 p.m., check local listings) looks into the rise of scientific forensics in the wake of a rash of poisonings at the start of of the 20th century in New York,largely following the groundbreaking work of New York’s Charles Norris. Broken into fascinating and forgotten individual stories, it could have been the basis of a sepia-toned, more historical Investigation Discovery series. Instead, it’s one long, two-hour documentary with recreations and expert commentary.
Gabrielle Union stars in the latest series from “Girlfriends” careators Salim and Mara Brock, “Being Mary Jane” (BET, 10 p.m.), a saga about an Atlanta anchorwoman first seen in a successful TV movie last summer.
A dude who has been off the grid for a quarter century and lives shoeless inthe trees of a Washington State rainforest is featured in the new series “The Legend of Mick Dodge” (National Geographic, 10 p.m.).
The new “Escaping the Prophet” (TLC, 10 p.m.) sounds like it is based a little more in reality than the Amish shows. In this a woman who was abused by her time in fundamentalist Mormon sects helps others trying to leave polygamist compounds and seeking justice.
Not a poker show, “Beat the House” (HGTV,11 p.m.) is about real estate agents competing home owners to find better places than the ones they’ve picked.
Not the romantic movie, “100 Days of Summer” (Bravo, 10 p.m.) follows a half dozen young professionals in Chicago trying to achieve summertime goals there. It may play like a fantasy compared to current weather conditions there.
They’re still avoiding their inevitable relationship so for now Mindy hires Danny as a personal trainer on a new episode of “The Mindy Project” (Fox, 9:30 p.m.). Earlier, the group on “New Girl” (Fox, 9 p.m.) reflect on their first jobs.
New episodes come for “Pretty Little Liars” (ABC Family, 8 p.m.) and “Ravenswood” (ABC Family, 9 p.m.).
I like the idea of the “Bad Girls All Star Battle” (Oxygen, 8 p.m.), yet another way to try to keep these young ladies busy.
This, at least, is well timed with the Arctic Blast: “Ice Cold Killers” (Investigation Discovery, 8 p.m.).
Regarding “Sleepy Hollow” (Showtime 2, 9:05 p.m.), the series isn’t on tonight, but the 1999 movie is.
Regarding “My 600 Pound Life” (TLC, 9 p.m.), the first 400 pounds were pretty good.
Funny: “The Shining” (IFC, 8 p.m.) runs opposite a series called “Redrum” (Investigation Discovery, 9 and 9:30 p.m.).
Turner Classic Movies marks the 90th anniversary of Columbia Pictures with a day of their best films, from “Lady for a Day” (7 a.m.) and “It Happened One Night” (8:45 a.m.) to “The Whole Town’s Talking” (10:30 a.m.), “His Girl Friday” (12:15 p.m.), “Cover Girl” (2 p.m.), “Gilda” (4 p.m.), “From Here to Eternity” (6 p.m.), “On the Waterfront” (8 pm.), “The Way We Were” (10 p.m.), “Gandhi” (12:15 a.m.) and “The Remains of the Day” (3:45 a.m.).
Men’s college hoops tonight include Tennessee at LSU (ESPN, 7 p.m.), Georgia Tech at Duke (ESPNU, 7 p.m.), Saint Louis at Rhode Island (CBS Sports Network, 7 p.m.), Baylor at Iowa State (ESPN2, 7 p.m.), Creighton at DePaul (Fox Sports 1, 9 p.m.), Ohio State at Michigan State (ESPN, 9 p.m.), Vanderbilt at Alabama (ESPNU, 9 p.m.) and Cincinnati at Houston (CBS Sports, 9 p.m.).
NBA action includes New Orleans at Miami (NBA, 7:30 p.m.). In the NHL it’s Philadelphia at New Jersey (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Ryan Seacrest, Gabrielle Union. The View: Wanda Sykes, James Carville & Mary Matalin, Chris Harrison. The Talk: Josh Holloway, Edward Lee. Ellen DeGeneres: Leonardo DiCaprio, Courteney Cox, Sara Bareilles. Wendy Williams: Mark Consuelos.
Late Talk
David Letterman: Joel McHale, Marv Albert. Jay Leno: Mark Wahlberg, Jeff Foxworthy, Salaam Remi with Akon. Jimmy Kimmel: Amy Adams, Margot Robbie, Xolie Morra & the Strange Kind. Jimmy Fallon: Ryan Seacrest, Gabrielle Union, John Newman. Craig Ferguson: Don Cheadle, Ivana Milicevic, Jake Bugg. Carson Daly: Matt Piedmont, White Denim, Matthew Broussard. Tavis Smiley: Linda Ronstadt (rerun). Jon Stewart: Steve Coogan. Stephen Colbert: John Seigenthaler. Arsenio Hall: MC Serch, Lil Duval. Conan O’Brien: Kat Dennings, Beth Behrs, Harland Williams, Kid Ink. Chelsea Handler: Idris Elba, Nick Swardson, Sarah Colonna, Michael Rosenaum.