Narnia: I love it like I love my family. I was governor of Narnia once, and no, I’m not the White Witch. Todd sometimes calls me that. But just as a joke. We all love each other.
We live in Narnia and as I say, love it here. Because it is so frickin’ magical, what with that talking lion Aslan, and Prince Caspian who becomes the King of Narnia.
We love havin’ those kids come see us, too. They’re from England or Britain or someplace (they got a funny accent anyway) and they got here the first time by going through a wardrobe.
Todd says I go through my wardrobe too fast but again he’s just joking. They came through a wardrobe, which is I guess what they call their closets. That’s why I love living here so much. It’s the best place in the whole wide world, because we have so much closet space than the lower 48 (and they’re not called wardrobes).
When they come back now, it’s on a boat they call the Dawn Treader. Which is awesome.
Oh, there are conflicts here, but there are conflicts everywhere, aren’t there? What with the tabloids and such makin’ your life trouble. But we try to forget about it. Except there’s this writer fella who moved in next door and is tryin’ to write a big tabloidy book about us. I think his name is C.S. Lewis.
Anyhoo, it’s great up here, what with the talking lion and such. Sometimes I think he even sounds like that actor Liam Neeson.
We don’t see many bears up here. But because of the White Witch and all, I like to keep my gun up close just in case. I mean magic is nice, but let’s keep the guns handy, eh?