Thursday: Blotto Anchor vs. Rockin’ Eve

The sight of Anderson Cooper blotto after a couple of shots administered by Andy Cohen will have to symbolize this shambolic year on “CNN’s New Year’s Eve 2021” (CNN, 8 p.m.), live from an emptied Times Square. 

Performances are expected from John Mayer, Snoop Dogg, Patti Labelle, Jimmy Buffett, Carole Baskin, Josh Groban, Leslie Jordan, Dulce Sloan, Desus & Mero, Kylie Minogue, Aloe Blacc, Goo Goo Dolls and Jon Bon Jovi. Brooke Baldwin and Don Lemon take over at 12:30 a.m., after they carry Cooper’s body out. 

It is, of course, one of several choices to watch as the clock strikes midnight.  “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2021” (ABC, 8 p.m.) welcomes Jennifer Lopez, Cyndi Lauper, Billy Porter, Jimmie Allen and Machine Gun Kelly. Also: 24KGoldn, Brandy, Doja Cat, Ella Mai, En Vogue, Julia Michaels and JP Saxe, Lewis Capaldi, Maluma, Megan Thee Stallion, Noah Cyrus, Nelly and Saweetie. Lucy Hale co-hosts. 

Ken Jeong, the new face of the Fox network, co-hosts “Fox’s New Year’s Eve Toast & Roast 2021” (Fox, 8 p.m.) with Joel McHale. Performances come from LeAnn Rimes, John Legend, Ava Max, Green Day and Gloria Estefan. 

Carson Daly is joined by Amber Ruffin to host “NBC’s New Year’s Eve” (NBC, 10 p.m.) from Times Square with their own roster of performers that include Busta Rhymes, Anderson Paak, Chloe x Halle, Jason Derulo, The Goo Goo Dolls, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stafani, and Sting. DJ “Twitch” Boss is also part of the event. 

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