A Kewpie Doll with catch phrases, Honey Boo Boo was enough of a diversion in the already beyond the pale “Toddlers & Tiaras” to warrant a spin-off show highlighting her “crazy family.”
So despite the title “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (TLC 10 p.m.) shifts focus to the six year old’s Mama June and her sisters Pumpkin, Chubbs and Chickadee. Unfortunately they provide a glimpse at what the post toddler pageant life will be for the little girl whose real name is Alana, not Honey Boo Boo Child. It will be filled with mud races, junk food, not much education. It’s so backwoods, half the dialogue had to be subtitled so it could be understandable to everyone else who will be making fun of them.
It should have been more amusing than it was; I couldn’t get too far past appalling.
Hurdles seem to be the toughest track sport, or the one with the most potential for spills. The women’s 400 meter hurdles and Men’s 110 meter hurdle finals are tonight’s focus on the 2012 London Olympics (NBC, 8 p.m.). Also: women’s long jump, women’s diving and the women’s final in beach volleyball.
A “sneak preview” of Matthew Perry’s fall sitcom “Go On” (NBC, 11:04 p.m.) is actually the first episode. See review above.
There’s an Olympic tinge to “Top Chef Masters” (Bravo, 10 p.m.), as the contestants must put on a Japanese-style culinary show for Brian Boitano, the gold medal skater.
Amid the two hour rerun of “So You Think You Can Dance” (Fox, 8 p.m.), there’s a video premiere from Phil Phillips, the latest winner from “American Idol.”
For the season finale of “Dallas” (TNT, 9 p.m.), which has done a pretty good job in its reincarnation, the pace of action steps up.
An Italian place in Stratford, Conn., Stella’s gets refurbished in a new “Restaurant: Impossible” (Food Network, 10 p.m.).
It’s the power of veto competition on “Big Brother” (CBS, 8 p.m.), just bout the only new thing on broadcast networks opposite the Olympics except for the re-creation on “Final Witness” (ABC, 10 p.m.), tonight about missing Russian doctor.
The season finale of “Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman” (Science, 10 p.m.) examines how religious beliefs begin. Could the notion of God have been the result of a neurological accident?
Cee Lo Green guest stars with edric the Entertainer as a fellow pastor getting out of the business on a new episode of “The Soul Man” (TV Land, 10 p.m.).
Fights are scheduled like clockwork on “Hollywood Exes” (VH1, 10 p.m.).
In the realm of rock bio films, Todd Haynes’ great hallucinogenic one on Bob Dylan “I’m Not There” (Sundance, 8 and 11:30 p.m.) gets a double play. And the little known metal band is followed in the entertaining “Fubar: Balls to the Wall” (TMC, 8:30 p.m.).
She put a spell on most of Hollywood – and viewers too. Rita Hayworth is the star all day on Turner Classic Movies, with a prime time roster that begins with “Pal Joey” (8 p.m.) and “Down to Earth” (10 p.m.) and continues with “Gilda” (midnight), “You Were Never Lovelier” (2 a.m.) and “Miss Sadie Thompson” (4 a.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly Ripa: Patricia Heaton, Carson Kressley, Carrie Ann Inaba (rerun). The View: Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, Gillian Flynn, Jane Seymour. The Talk: Sanaa Lathan, Jamie Krell, Kristan Cunningham, Guy Fieri. Ellen DeGeneres: Kiefer Sutehrland, Kevin Nealon, Twitch (rerun)..
Late Talk
David Letterman: Amy Poehler, Wendy Williams, Trampled by Turtles (rerun). Jimmy Kimmel: Bryan Cranston, Larry King, Zac Brown Band (rerun). Craig Ferguson: Chris Hardwick, Carla Gugino. Tavis Smiley: Kevin Costner (rerun). Jon Stewart: Chris Rock. Stephen Colbert: Liza Mundy. Conan O’Brien: Steve Carell, Ronda Rousey, Ziggy Marley. Chelsea Handler: Will Ferrell, Heather McDonald, Gary Valentine, Lil Rel Howery.