Thursday TV: Good VBS Substitute, ‘Louie’

Those who miss Vacation Bible School may be cheered by the premiere of a new Bible-based game show. Unfortunately, it is not “Swords Up!” in which kids raise their Bible after finding the obscure book the leader shouts, but it is “The American Bible Challenge” (GSN, 8 p.m.) in which teams have show actual knowledge of the book to win money that they’ll give to charity.

It’s hosted by Jeff Foxworthy of “Are You More Pius than a Fifth Grader” fame. He may even work it into a routine, “You really know when you’re in the Bible Belt when…”

So far, no similar game show is planned for the Q’uaran.

Still, it’s a more interesting new game show than the network’s other new show tonight, “Beat the Chefs” (GSN, 9 p.m.) in which ordinary people compete against professionals in preparing family recipes.

“Anger Management” (FX, 9:30 p.m.) ends the first of what will apparently be very many seasons. Charlie Sheen struck a deal that if it reached certain audience levels, it would be picked up for another 90 episodes. Though conventional, the comedy has done well, and draws a much bigger audience than, say, the far superior “Louie” (FX, 10:30 p.m.), on which the hero goes looking for the girl with whom he had a decidedly odd date, Liz, played by Parker Posey.

The remaining designers on “Project Runway” (Lifetime, 9 p.m.) have to create new outfits that match hairstyles.

A mid-season finale on “Burn Notice” (USA, 9 p.m.) an assassin is tracked to Panama, leading to an explosive cliffhanger.

It’s the mid-season finale, too, for “Suits” (USA, 10 p.m.).

That a third season is starting for “Beyond Scared Straight” (A&E, 10 p.m.) means their message has not been completely absorbed.

Seems fitting to look into the Mormon religion, as they do on “Rock Center with Brian Williams” (NBC, 10 p.m.).

There’s an eviction on “Big Brother” (CBS, 9 p.m.). And maybe more armpit hair removal.

Because it’s the first musical chairs-based reality competition, there are musical performances on “Oh Sit!” (The CW, 8 p.m.) from pretty marginal groups, it turns out. Tonight: Neon Hitch.

Meanwhile, neither music nor chairs are found on the very similar “Wipeout” (ABC, 9 p.m.).

Whitney comes out to her grandmother on a new “The Real L Word” (Showtime, 10 p.m.).

The twins and parents real estate team from California is known as the “Natural Born Sellers” (HGTV, 9 p.m.).

Lucky they decided to make a show out of “Great Lake Warriors” (History, 10 p.m.) rather than bargemen on the dry Mississippi.

Premiering just last week, the new “Caught Looking” (NBC Sports, 9 p.m.) takes an in-depth look at a major league rivalry series from last weekend. Tonight, it’s Tampa Bay and Anaheum.

Three consecutive episodes of “Four Weddings” (TLC, 8, 9 and 10 p.m.) constitute 16 weddings.

In the series “Trip Flip” (Travel, 9 p.m.), “professional fun-seeker” Bert Kreischer convinces two random people to spontaneously agree to a three day vacation. Tonight, it’s in Rome.

In “One Car Too Far” (Discovery. 10 p.m.), a vehicle is dropped into a remote area and has to drive out.

It’s not as if the stories on “Teen Mom” are the only ones like that on TV. There is also the very similar “High School Moms” (Discovery Fit & Health, 10 p.m.).

“River Monsters: Unhoooked – Lair of Giants” (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.) is a pretty long title but this two hour special is about the large creatures in the largest river in Guyana.

The chefs team up with the U.S. Coast Guard for a cooking adventure at sea on “Extreme Chef” (Food, 10 p.m.).

Let’s recall how the Republicans picked a vice presidential candidate last time around, “Game Change” (HBO, 8 p.m.).

Once, “The Truman Show” (AMC, 8 p.m.) seemed so quaint; now it’s aessentiall the same thing as “Snooki & JWoww” (MTV, 10 p.m.) or “Braxton Family Values” (WE TV, 9 p.m.).

Gene Kelly is the star all day on Turner Classic Movies with a prime time roster that begins with “Cover Girl” (TCM, 8 p.m.) and “An American in Paris” (TCM, 10 p.m.), and continues with “Singin’ in the Rain” (TCM, midnight), “Inherit the Wind” (TCM, 2 a.m.) and “Black Hand” (4:15 a.m.).

In preseason football, it’s Arizona at Tennessee (ESPN, 8 p.m.).

Daytime Talk

Kelly Ripa: Josh Brolin, Anne Hathaway, Donald Driver & Peta Murgatroyd, Seth Meyers (rerun). The View: Jackie, Jermaine, Marlon & Tito Jackson, Robby Benson, Chris Cuomo (rerun). The Talk: George Lopez, Rita Wilson (rerun). Ellen DeGeneres: David Arquette, the United States Air Force Band, Taylor Swift (rerun).

Late Talk

David Letterman: Kathy Griffin, Michael Somerville, Josh Turner. Jay Leno: Kirsten Dunst, Chris Matthews, Smashing Pumpkins. Jimmy Kimmel: Kyra Sedgwick, Nick Prueher & Joe Pickett, Josh Doyle. Jimmy Fallon: Spike Lee, Mike Birbiglia, Chef Michael Anthony. Craig Ferguson: Emile Hirsch, Ariel Tweto (rerun). Tavis Smiley: Ruben Martinez. Carson Daly: Harvey Weinstein, Timur Berkmambetov, Kasabian (rerun). Jon Stewart: Robert Pattinson (rerun). Stephen Colbert: fun. (rerun). Conan O’Brien: Charlize Theron, Curtis Stone, Bahamas (rerun). Chelsea Handler: Kristen Bell, Michael Yo, Heather McDonald, T.J. Miller.