After a scripted, stilted talky convention that seemed to stretch on and on even with a day cut off, it took a grizzled 82 year old actor to stop the show at the Republican National Convention and maybe even upstage the guy who followed him, the Republican candidate for President making his nomination acceptance speech.
If he didn’t eclipse him, Clint Eastwood certainly bumped Mitt Romney deep into after the planned closing time, pushing local news shows on the East Coast 15 minutes or more.
That he wasn’t speaking from a script, wasn’t a slave to the TelePrompTer and has spoken to a camera a time or two in his life, gave Eastwood an almost eerie reality – a codgy guy emerging amid the robots, ready to tell the truth.
Except he didn’t have a cogent thing to say. He almost apologized for criticizing Obama, and then let him have it. He didn’t want to give a political speech, but then he did this weird puppet act, talking to an empty chair as if it were Obama, repeating his imagined answers as in an old Bob Newhart script, making his political points through a child’s pantomime. And he mumbled through most of it.
Still, the crowd was delighted by it, either because it was so different than anything else, or they were starstruck in a convention starved of them. Janine Turner.
It looked at first as if he were going to take the traditional place of Charlton Heston and do the “cold dead hands” speech about keeping his gun. Then he started rambling and free associating like the coot in the back of the room at the public comments section of the town meeting (where the rest of the crowd is expected to nod politely and wait for him to finish).
Had this been the Oscars, a more normal habitat for him, he’d have been played off by the orchestra a third of the way through. Instead, he rambled on.
What was odd is that Eastwood is no gadfly or even a political newcomer. He’s a former mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea, Calif.
But not even a mayor would make a speech like this one.
“I know what you are thinking, he began. “You’re thinking: what’s a movie tradesman doing out here? You know, they’re all left-wingers out there, left of Lenin — at least that’s what people think. That is not really the case. There are a lot of conservative people, a lot of moderate people, Republicans [and] Democrats in Hollywood.
“It’s just that the conservative people, by the nature of the word itself. play closer to the vest. They do not go around hot dogging it. So — but they are there, believe me, they are there. I just think, in fact, some of them around town, I saw Jon Voigt, a lot of people around. Jon’s here, an Academy Award winner. A terrific guy. These people are all like-minded, like all of us.”
Then he began his empty chair puppet act.
“So I — so I’ve got Mr. Obama sitting here. And he’s – I was going to ask him a couple of questions. But — you know about — I remember three and a half years ago, when Mr. Obama won the election. And though I was not a big supporter, I was watching that night when he was having that thing and they were talking about hope and change and they were talking about ‘yes we can’ and it was dark outdoors, and it was nice, and people were lighting candles. They were saying, I just thought, this was great. Everybody is crying, Oprah was crying. I was even crying. And then finally — and I haven’t cried that hard since I found out that there is 23 million unemployed people in this country.
“Now that is something to cry for because that is a disgrace, a national disgrace, and we haven’t done enough, obviously – this administration hasn’t done enough to cure that. Whatever interest they have is not strong enough, and I think possibly now it may be time for somebody else to come along and solve the problem. ”
To the chair: “‘So, Mr. President, how do you handle promises that you have made when you were running for election, and how do you handle them? I mean, what do you say to people? Do you just — you know – I know — people were wondering — you don’t — handle that OK. Well, I know even people in your own party were very disappointed when you didn’t close Gitmo. And I thought, well closing Gitmo – why close that? We spent so much money on it. But, I thought maybe as an excuse – what do you mean shut up? OK, I thought maybe it was just because somebody had the stupid idea of trying terrorists in downtown New York City. I’ve got to, to hand it to you. I have to give credit where credit is due. You did finally overrule that finally.
“ ‘And that’s – now we are moving onward. I know you were against the war in Iraq, and that’s okay. But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK. You know, I mean — you thought that was something worth doing. We didn’t check with the Russians to see how did it — they did there for 10 years.”
By now, nobody dared remind him that that it was a different president in an empty chair, George W. Bush, who sent those troops there in the first place.
Still he kept on. To the chair.
“’But we did it, and it is something to be thought about, and I think that, when we get to maybe — I think you’ve mentioned something about having a target date for bringing everybody home. You gave that target date, and I think Mr. Romney asked the only sensible question, you know, he says, “Why are you giving the date out now? Why don’t you just bring them home tomorrow morning?”
” ‘And I thought — I thought, yeah — [scolding the chair now] I am not going to shut up, it is my turn. So anyway, we’re going to have — we’re going to have to have a little chat about that. And then, I just wondered, all these promises – I wondered about when the — [to the chair again”] What do you want me to tell Romney? I can’t tell him to do that. I can’t tell him to do that to himself. You’re crazy, you’re absolutely crazy. You’re getting as bad as Biden! Of course we all now Biden is the intellect of the Democratic party. Kind of a grin with a body behind it.
“ But I just think that there is so much to be done, and I think that Mr. Romney and Mr. Ryan are two guys that can come along. See, I never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to the President, anyway I think attorneys are so busy — you know they’re always taught to argue everything, and always weight everything — weigh both sides… I think attorneys are so busy — you know they’re always taught to argue everything, always weigh everything, weigh both sides. They are always devil’s advocating this and bifurcating this and bifurcating that. You know all that stuff. But, I think it is maybe time — what do you think — for maybe a businessman. How about that? A stellar businessman. Quote, unquote, ‘a stellar businessman.’ And I think it’s that time. And I think if you just step aside and Mr. Romney can kind of take over. You can maybe still use a plane. Though maybe a smaller one. Not that big gas guzzler you are going around to colleges and talking about student loans and stuff like that. You are an — an ecological man. Why would you want to drive that around? OK, well anyway. All right, I’m sorry. I can’t do that to myself either.
“I would just like to say something, ladies and gentlemen. Something that I think is very important. It is that, you, we – we own this country. We — we own it. It is not you owning it, and not politicians owning it. Politicians are employees of ours. And — so — they are just going to come around and beg for votes every few years. It is the same old deal. But I just think it is important that you realize , that you’re the best in the world. Whether you are a Democrat or Republican or whether you’re Libertarian or whatever, you are the best. And we should not ever forget that. And when somebody does not do the job, we got to let them go.
“Okay, just remember that. And I’m speaking out for everybody out there. It doesn’t hurt, we don’t have to be …”
Just then, somebody in the crowd yelled “Make my day!” his most famous movie line.
“I do not say that word anymore,” Eastwood said. “Well, maybe one last time. We don’t have to be — what I’m saying, we do not have to be sadomasochists and vote for somebody that we don’t really even want in office just because they seem to be nice guys or maybe not so nice guys, if you look at some of the recent ads going out there, I don’t know.
“But OK. You want to make my day? All right. I started, you finish it. Go ahead.”
And they said it: “Make my day!”