It’s bad enough when expectant fathers try to be helpful in the delivery room, only to get yelled at by their wives. What if, instead of shaved ice, somebody came in with trivia questions and a chance to win prizes?
Not the right time, maybe? Nonsense! It’s the perfect distraction, and a chance to win prizes for the newly expanding family.
“Labor Games” (TLC, 10 and 10:30 p.m.) is the new game show that makes the ejector seat on MTV’s old “Remote Control” seem like a La-Z-Boy. As with the newly announced History game show “Shotgun,” in which contestants answer questions while riding in a race car, this one capitalizes on the innate stress of the situation — giving human birth — and capitalizes on it. The most desirable grand prize, we’re guessing, is an epidural.
Lisa Arch is the host; tonight’s preview episode will lead to a regular run later this year.
It’s preceded by “I Still Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” (TLC, 9 p.m.), about women who went to the hospital and delivered not knowing they were pregnant on more than one occasion. Were they too busy thinking of quiz answers?
With elephant poaching on the rise in Kenya, who you gonna call? How about Kristin Davis of “Sex and the City”? She visits a wildlife trust there battling those killing elephants for their ivory in the special “Gardeners of Eden” (Pivot, 9 p.m.).
Titanic discoverer Bob Ballard is back on the scene, diving to look at the wreck of a German sub from World War II involved in an attack that killed 5,000, on an episode of “Nova” (PBS, 9 p.m., check local listings) called “Nazi Attack on America.”
You’d hardly know it was sweeps. But here you have it: A lot of new episodes of things and a finale.
Kate’s niece is kidnapped on the 10th season finale of “Criminal Minds” (CBS, 9 p.m.).
Alex is upset that her quest to become valedictorian seems to have been ended in a tie on “Modern Family” (ABC, 9 p.m.). Raven-Symone guest stars as Dre’s gay sister on “Black-ish” (ABC, 9:30 p.m.).
Having just given birth, Juliette is singing from the rooftops on “Nashville” (ABC, 10 p.m.).
An incest victim recants her testimony in an effort to free her father from jail on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC, 9 p.m.).
David Koechner pops up as a new pal of Jeff Garlin’s character on “The Goldbergs” (ABC, 8:30 p.m.).
The family finds, at the season finale of “Schitt’s Creek” (Pop, 10 p.m.) that they actually like the little backwater.
Season two starts for “Filthy Riches” (National Geographic, 9 p.m.), which follows hunters of worms, gators and mushrooms.
Janel Parrish of “Pretty Little Liars” and Frankie Muniz guest star on “The Mysteries of Laura” (NBC, 8 p.m.).
Sometimes I wish they’d all get voted out this season on “Survivor” (CBS, 8 p.m.).
I suppose the hometown visits of the Top 3 will be covered on “American Idol” (Fox, 8 p.m.) before the two finalists are named.
Why be surprised at the secret tunnel found in a curiosity shop on “Ripper Street” (BBC America, 10 p.m.)? It is, after all, a curiosity shop.
Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys pops up on “American Pickers” (History, 9 p.m.), not picking guitars, we assume, but picking through junk.
“I Love You…ButI Lied” (Lifetime, 10 p.m.) sounds like the underlying principle of “Catfish: The TV Show” (MTV, 10 p.m.).
“Survivorman: Bigfoot” (Discovery, 10 p.m.) runs opposite the sister network’s “Bigfoot in America” (Destination America, 10 p.m.). That is, if there is a Yeti left, since the latter show follows both “Killing Bigfoot” (Destination America, 8 p.m.) and “Shooting Bigfoot” (Destination America, 9 p.m.).
A month-long, 21 film Wednesday night salute to actor Sterling Hayden on Turner Classic Movies begins with the 1947 “The Killing” (TCM, 8 p.m.) followed by a handful of other crime and suspense flicks, “The Asphalt Jungle” (9:45 p.m.), “Crime Wave” (11:45 p.m.), “Suddenly” (1:15 a.m.), “Crime of Passion” (2:45 a.m.) and “Five Steps to Danger” (4:15 a.m.).
NBA playoffs include Chicago at Cleveland (TNT, 7 p.m.) and Clippers at Houston (TNT, 9:30 p.m.).
Stanley Cup playoff games have Montreal at Tampa Bay (USA, 7 p.m.) and Rangers at Washington (NBC Sports Network, 7:30 p.m.).
Baseball includes Baltimore at Mets (ESPN, 7 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
Kelly & Michael: Reese Witherspoon, Chris SoulesRobert Herjavec. The View: Willie Nelson, Ciara, Jeff Garlin, Raven-Symone. The Talk: Helen Hunt, Duff Goldman. Ellen DeGeneres: Diane Keaton, Hailee Steinfeld. Wendy Williams: Alan Thicke, Ian Drew. Meredith Vieira: Jessie Pavelka, Jennny Garth, Fredrik Eklund. Queen Latifah: Octavia Spencer, Trey Songz (rerun).
Late Talk
David Letterman: Martin Short, Norah Jones. Jimmy Fallon: Kerry Washington, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Noel Gallagher. Jimmy Kimmel: Adam Levine, Nicholas Hoult, Maroon 5. Seth Meyers: Anna Wintour, Willie Nelson, Twin Shadow. James Corden: Dana Carvey, Elizabeth Olsen. Carson Daly: Pete Holmes, Rob bell, Tennis. Tavis Smiley: Luis Zayas, Mariel Hemingway. Jon Stewart: Ernest Moniz. Conan O’Brien: Helen Hunt, Nick Swardson, They Might Be Giants.