The fighting doesn’t solves anything, so Amber gets them to complete a list of chores to prove who is the most worthy. These include moving stuff in the garage, making a vegan dinner, posing nude and cleaning the kitty litter.
But even a “Tom & Jerry” cartoon wouldn’t have the character returning to moving stuff in the garage after they’ve done the kitty litter (a second time), posing again, cooking again, going back and forth among the activities as if they’re blackout skits and linear time doesn’t exist. Even attempts at absurdist comedy need to follow some rules, with consecutive scenes of conventional storytelling.
At some point, they decide they don’t want to really take Amber out (she’s bad at ukulele), but they still must compete because only one can be the winner of this challenge.
So there’s a series of equally dumb athletic contests that include arm wrestling, cornhole, scissors paper rock, table hockey (on the cheapest possible board), pull ups, ping pong, hide and seek, tetherball and the nut slap.
The latter is the pinnacle of the competition because it involves what is the the film’s high point of witty banter, saying the word dick. Clearly this is a film made by and for people who think uttering the word is the shortcut to hilarity.
“This is stupid and it’s not even working,” one says after the nut slap event, and they could clearly be talking about the movie.
The explanation for the competition at the end, when it finally comes (after a dumb kung fu interlude) at least makes clear for whom the film is intended: Frat boys who might already be drunk when the thing starts. For everyone else, definitely scroll on.
The selling point for “The Take Out Move” is that it only cost $3.500 to make, and it kind of shows. But maybe the cost of watching it should be scaled down accordingly as well.
“The Take Out Move” is available on video on demand through Freestyle Digital Media.