At midnight, everybody will enter the year 2014, whether the TV is on or not.
Still, millions will check in to ensure the calendar turns when the mirrored ball falls in Times Square at 12. All of the shows, oddly, are hosted by the announcers of the major singing competitions. The leading show among them now has the most ungainly title.
“Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2014” (ABC, 10 p.m.) honors the originator while promoting the current host, before his own “American idol” fires up again in a couple of weeks. His guests include Miley Cyrus, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Blondie, Capital Cities, Jason derulo, Fall Out Boy, Florida Georgia Line, Enrique Iglesias, The Fray, Pitbull, Jennifer Hudson, Billy Joel, Icona Pop, Daughtry, Ariana Grande and Robin Thicke among others. Jenny McCarthy helps Seacrest host in New York before Fergie takes over in Los Angeles.
They try to stretch the brand deep into prime time with “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Presents the 30 Greatest Women in Music” (ABC, 8 p.m.) hosted by Ryan Seacrest, Jenny McCarthy and Fergie.
Mariah Carey and Blake Shelton are among the stars on the competing countdown show “New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly” (NBC, 10 p.m.), co-hosted by Jane Lynch.
Mario Lopez hosts “New Year’s Eve Live” (Fox, 11 p.m.) from Las Vegas with performances by Panic! at the Disco, New Politics, J. Cole and Krewella.
For the classically minded, the New York Philharmonic performs Ravel’s “Bolero” and Golijov’s “Azul” with Yo-Yo Ma in a performance that opened the season Sept. 25 but erroneously holds the title “Live from Lincoln Center” (PBS, 8 p.m., check local listings).
A final look at the events of 2013 are collected in the NBC News special “Year End News in Review” (NBC, 8 p.m.).
Over on cable, they’re bringing back the saucy comedienne to try to embarrass the prime time newsman (and undermine the whole seriousness of the news operation) with the goofy “New Year’s Eve with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin” (CNN, 9 p.m.).
Unintentional humor is the stock in trade of Fox News, where its “All American New Year” (Fox News, 9 p.m.) features Blues Traveler, Susan Boyle and Rodney Atkins. Perhaps they will also book year-change debunkers. Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Bill Hemmer host.
If New Year’s Eve is about drinking, why not bring Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb to prime time to review their woozy, wine-soaked year in “A Toast to 2013!” (NBC, 8 p.m.) with guests Pharrell Williams, Padma Lakshmi and Matt Lauer.
Turner Classic Movies is spending the day on dance, with rock ‘n’ roll all day including “Go Johnny Go!” (9:30 a.m.), “Let’s Rock” (10:45 a.m.), Richard Lester’s “It’s Trad, Dad!” (12:15 a.m.), “Rock Around the Clock” (1:45 p.m.) and the sequel “Twist Around the Clock” (3:15 a.m.) before some Elvis Presley classics “Jailhouse Rock” (4:45 p.m.) and “Viva Las Vegas” (6:30 p.m.).
Then tonight it’s all of the MGM singing and dancing with its popular compilations “That’s Entertainment!” (8 p.m.), “That’s Entertainment! II” (10:30 p.m.) and “That’s Entertainment! III” (12:45 a.m.) as well as “That’s Dancing!” (3 a.m.).
Of course somebody is showing the film “New Year’s Eve” (Cinemax, 10 p.m.), right after “Argo” (Cinemax, 8 p.m.).
Other movies tonight include “Up” (Disney, 8:30 p.m.), “A League of Their Own” (Sundance, 8 p.m.), “Half Baked” (IFC, 8 p.m.) and “Avatar” (FX, 8 p.m.).
It’s probably too late to learn how to behave tonight, but they try to dispense advice anyway on “Girl Code” (MTV, 10 p.m.).
Weirdest way to ring in the new year? Among the 33 consecutive chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” (IFC, 9:45 p.m.).
College football bowl games include Arizona vs. Boston College (ESPN, 12:30 p.m.) in the AdvoCare V100 Bowl, Virginia Tech vs. UCLA (CBS, 2 p.m.) in the Sun Bowl, Rice vs. Mississippi State (ESPN, 4 p.m.) in the Liberty Bowl and Duke vs. Texas A&M (ESPN, 8 p.m.) in the Chick-fil-A-Bowl.
In the build up for tomorrow’s NHL Winter Classic they test out the ice with the Alumni Showdown: Toronto vs. Detroit (NBC Sports, 1 p.m.). There is also a repeat of the last episode of “24/7 Red Wings/Maple Leafs” NHL Winter Classic” (HBO, 10 p.m.).
The U.S. Olympic Trials (NBC Sports, 6 p.m.) continues in men’s and women’s 1,500 meter speedskating.
Men’s college hoops includes St. John’s at Xavier (Fox Sports 1, noon), Ohio State at Purdue (ESPN2, 1 p.m.), Duke at Elon (ESPNU, 1 p.m.), Seton Hall at Providence (Fox Sports 1, 2:30 p.m.), Indiana at Illinois (ESPN2, 3 p.m.), Eastern Michigan at Syracuse (ESPNU, 3 p.m.), Louisville at Central Florida (ESPN2, 5 p.m.), Memphis at South Florida (ESPN2, 7 p.m.), Villanova at Butler (Fox Sports 1, 7:30 p.m.), Connecticut at Houston (ESPN2, 9 p.m.) and Marquettte at Creighton (Fox Sports 1, 10 p.m.).
Daytime Talk
All reruns: The View: Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Michelle Dockery, Rob James-Collier, Allen Leech, Lesley Nicol, Phyllis Logan, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Jenni “JWoww” Farley. Ellen DeGeneres: Rob Lowe, Paris Hilton. Wendy Williams: Rachel Maddow, Lloyd Boston.
Late Night
Reruns all: David Letterman: Connie Britton, Lady Antebellum. Jay Leno: Andy Samberg, Bailee Madison, Goo Goo Dolls. Jimmy Fallon: Josh Hutcherson, Budd Friedman, Kelly Clarkson. Craig Ferguson: Kaley Cuoco, Kellie Pickler. Carson Daly: Scott Aukerman, Robbie Fulks, Bughouse. Tavis Smiley: Wayne Shorter. Arsenio Hall: Andhony Anderson, Loni Love, Doug E. Fresh. Conan O’Brien: Aziz Ansari, Deepak Chopra, Adam Yenser. Chelsea Handler: Curtis Stone, Jen Kirkman, Loni Love, Matt Braunger.