Mitt Romney Ingratiates Himself to Former Home

Hey there! Hello! It’s so great to be back in Michigan. I just love Michigan. It’s my home state you know. And I’m not just saying this because I’m lagging in the polls, ha ha.

I mean look at this place. The trees are just the right height. The streets are just right. And the cars on the streets! I love cars! I drive a Mustang and a Chevy pickup truck. Ann drives a couple of Cadillacs actually. I used to have a Dodge, so I used to have all three covered.

We love Michigan and we loved listening to Tiger baseball growing up. Ernie Harwell, right?

If you cut us and we bleed, we bleed Vernor’s. Or Faygo! What a mess! We love all that sticky Michigan soda. Ann owns a couple of bottling plants in fact. So it’s great.

And it’s not just cars that built Detroit. We loved that Motown music, too, didn’t we? All those Motown acts. The Four Somethings and all of them; they had just the right number of members. They were great. And their songs. All those notes – just the right number of notes. And the singles were exactly the right length. Boom!

Growing up in Michigan was just great. I remember that Thanksgiving Parade in Detroit and hat big inchworm that would snake down Woodward Avenue. Remember that? Wild.

And Soupy Sales. He was such a great comedian. All the pies being thrown. And then White Fang and Black Tooth. They were dogs I guess. But I don’t know. Because all you ever saw was their paws? Right? Crazy.

And what about those other kids shows we saw growing up in Michigan? Bozo the Clown? Right? And Milky the Clown? And Johnny Ginger and Captain Jolly and Jingles? Super.

They’d always play Popeye cartoons and Three Stooges. And boy, I loved that. They knew how to solve problems. And they always had just the right number of stooges.

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